With headlines, I assiduously avoid alliteration, preferring pithiness. Not so for Gizmodo, who profile a local shared workshop in an article entitled This Workshop of Wonders Makes Vibrators and Vaporizers, in which they profile Ploom and Minna.

Gizmodo says:

The [American Industrial Center], in San Francisco’s Dogpatch, is part of a neighborhood where sprawling shipyards and industrial complexes have closed up shop, replaced by the likes of the AT&T Ballpark and the UCSF Mission Bay medical research center.

This is, of course, slightly wrong, in the way that probably only irritates rules-lawyers like myself: the ballpark could be included in Mission Bay, as could UCSF’s research center, but who would call Mission Bay part of Dogpatch?

Well, really, we would. Gizmodo has provided us with documentation of our heart’s secret truth: the borders of Dogpatch extend north until you get deep into pee-smell territory (SoMa). We control the heavy industry (“tobacco” vaporizers and vibrating “marital aids”) and we control the deepwater ports. Mission Bay: you are now “Dogpatch North,” with all the rights and responsibilities that entails, except for voting in the Dogpatch elections.

* These days I only write articles so I can play with the headlines