MUNI Decals Explained

The SFMTA recently sent me a survey asking about my “satisfaction” with how they are doing their job. There was no question about “ability to plan for San Francisco’s transit needs long term” or “abilty to bore a tunnel all the way to the Presidio,” so some of my need to complain was unmet.

HOWEVER, there was a whole page of (probably unintentionally) hilarious images that MUNI intends to use as informational icons. I filled in (mostly) serious answers for each, but then realized that this was my chance for quality sass.

SFMTA

Good luck finding the MUNI logo in the right color on the SFMTA website: they don’t like it and they expect that you shouldn’t feel anything like love or sentimentality towards it. I am including it here because I would like to sass not it, but the organization for which it stands.

MUNI

Expect rolling delays

Customer Satisfaction Survey
Muni Decal Survey

Finally, you now have the exclusive opportunity to participate in a short survey to ensure the comprehension of new passenger information in Muni vehicles.

The inside of a bus

And you thought they smelled bad on the outside.

Imagine you are in a bus or a train and you see the following symbols posted inside the vehicle. Please describe, in a few words, what the symbols mean to you in the box provided below each symbol.

What does each symbol below mean to you? Please write your response in the box provided below the symbol.

Camera Pictograph

VIDEOTAPE ALL SHENANIGANS*
It’s your only chance to get internet famous.

POLE DANCING ALLOWED
Get to it! You’re not taking that class for nothing.

THE FLOOR IS LAVA**
Please suspend yourself from the overhead bar.

WATCH OUT FOR URINE
For your convenience, we have diverted it into a unified stream***.

DON’T BE COOL.

SWEAR AT CYCLISTS
Poo poo head! Doo doo face! Pee pee bus!

SASHAY TO THE BACK
Please join the skinny people in the back of the bus. Points will be awarded for fierceness of walk.

* We would have also accepted “BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING” or simply “1984″
** The floor is not lava, it is something more horrible.
*** No, we have not, it is everywhere. Again, please suspend yourself from the overhead bar and just avoid touching… anything. Gloves? If you have gloves, they wouldn’t be a terrible idea.

I think that this article counts as a listicle, and as such you may feel free to heap me with scorn.

Smokestack Restaurant Almost Open

The other day I strolled over to the new Magnolia / Smokestack space and checked it out.

How soon will it open? Well, two weeks ago Eric the bar manager said “two more weeks,” so, there’s that. I kid! I kid! They’re just very busy with running a brewery, building the restaurant that will be mated to said brewery, and figuring out how they will open a grocery store in the other AIC building*.

Apparently when Smokestack opens you will order cooked meats by the pound — at least I will, unless they have a “wheelbarrow” option, in which case I will be ordering cooked meats by the “wheelbarrow full.” Please.

Dave McLean is super nice! indogpatch interviewed and photographed him not too long ago. You should read their great post:
Smokestack Lightning: Meet Dave McLean of Magnolia Brewery

Magnolia has had some very lovely videos made of the construction of their new space:
Magnolia Brewing Company / Beer. BBQ. Dogpatch.

Magnolia's Brewery Dogpatch

Magnolia's Brewery Dogpatch

Magnolia's Brewery Dogpatch

Magnolia's Brewery Dogpatch

Beer
Magnolia's Brewery Dogpatch

Beer
Magnolia's Brewery Dogpatch

Beer
Magnolia's Brewery Dogpatch

Beer
Magnolia's Brewery Dogpatch

Magnolia's Brewery Dogpatch

Magnolia's Brewery Dogpatch

Magnolia's Brewery Dogpatch

* this is a pretty legit rumor

Prior Howler coverage:
Magnolia Under Construction
Magnolia Teases Us Again

Oakland Basketball Team Buys Cursed Landfill

The internets are abuzz with the news that the Golden State Warriors have purchased 12 acres and plan to build a 120 foot tall monstrosity. After Salesforce’s failure to thrive, hopefully this new venture will take an old dump and turn it into something fun for everyone.

Artist's Rendering of Arena
Artist’s Conception

SF Gate says:

The new site off of Third Street does not, however, have the iconic feel and stunning views of the Bay Bridge. Instead, the view is of a dry dock, an industrial pier and rusting old pilings that dot the water.

I’m pretty sure that the view is of wooden pilings, which are highly unlikely to be rusting, but…

Untitled

Enjoy your vacant lot!

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Drone’s Eye View of Mission Bay Fire

Multiple drones have recently been dangerously close to violating Dogpatch airspace. This aggression will not stand, man. Nonetheless, please enjoy the following videos:

Mission Bay Fire – Drone Eye View

Drone’s eye view of Mission Bay fire damage

Beats of the Bayview: March 20th

Beats of the Bayview
4705 Third Street, San Francisco, California 94124
between McKinnon and Palou
Thursday, March 20th, 2014, 5:30-8pm
RSVP on Facebook

Beats of the Bayview

FREE live spoken word and Afro-Peruvian dance performances, featuring young artists from Dr. Charles Drew College Preparatory Academy and Paul Revere K-8 School

Performing Arts Workshop is partnering with the 3rd on Third community arts celebration to bring the Bayview’s talented young performers to the stage! For more information, visit our Facebook event page

About Performing Arts Workshop: Since its founding in 1965, Performing Arts Workshop has been a leading innovator in helping at-risk youth develop critical thinking, creative expression, and learning skills through the arts. Last year the Workshop served over 6,000 Bay Area youth through residencies in public schools, transitional housing facilities, and community centers.

Third Rail Amps Up In December

7×7 said:

The Third Rail, which we’ve mentioned previously, is set for a December opening

Still no info on their web page:
http://www.thirdrailbarsf.com/

Dogpatch Photographer Interviewed

The fantastic local blog indogpatch recently interviewed sometime Howler investigative reporter Sarah Christianson.

There’s No Place Like Home: Meet Photographer Sarah Christianson

Sarah Christianson
Photo by Scott Kline. used without permission

Dogpatch SF Open Studios November 2nd and 3rd

Open Studios
November 2nd and 3rd, 11am to 6pm
SOMA, Tenderloin, Potrero Hill, Dogpatch, Bayview, Portola, Excelsior

RSVP on Facebook

Are you having an open studio but aren’t listed? Please send over an email!
tips@dogpatchhowler.com

Map of studio locations

900 Tennessee Street at 20th Street

Carla Bratt (Mixed Media) #18
http://www.carlabratt.com/

Cody Bratt (Photography) #18
http://www.codybratt.com/

Sirima Sataman (Printmaking) #19
http://www.inkpaperplate.com/

Zannah Noe (Painting) #21
http://www.zannahnoe.com/

American Industrial Center
2325 3rd Street at 20th Street

Craig Mole (Photography) #338
http://www.molephoto.com/

Pat Wipf (Painting) #340
http://www.patwipf.com/

Rory Earnshaw (Photography) #347
http://www.contact49.com/

American Industrial Center (2415 entrance)
Third Street at 20th Street

Sarah Graham (Wearable Art / Jewelry)
2415 3rd Street #258
http://www.sarahgraham.com/

Art Explosion – 3rd Street Studios
1661 Tennessee Street, Suite 3-E at Cesar Chavez

Jackie Lange (Wearable Art / Jewelry) #308
http://www.jackielange.net/

Jennifer de Groat (Wearable Art / Jewelry) #308

Zoe Ani (Painting) #304
http://www.ani2zoe.com/

Dogpatch
Robert Abrams (Ceramics)
1426 Minnesota Street at 26th Street
http://www.robertabramssculpture.com/

Graphic Arts Workshop
2565 3rd Street #305 at 22nd Street

Andrey Semyonov (Printmaking)

http://www.sites.google.com/site/andreysemyonov2/home

Barbara Stikker (Printmaking)
http://www.barbarastikker.com/

Cynthia Milionis (Printmaking)
http://www.cymili.com/art

Eddie Lee (Printmaking)
http://www.sq-i.com/

Gail Morrison (Printmaking)
http://www.gailmorrison.com/

Lise Currie (Printmaking)
http://www.lisecurrie.com/

Noonan Building
Pier 70 at the end of 20th Street past Illinois Street

Adele Louise Shaw (Painting) #321
http://www.adeleshaw.com/

Austin Press (Printmaking) #215
http://www.austinpress.com/

Connie Haris (Painting) #304
http://www.connieharris.com/

Francis Berry (Painting) #106
http://www.francisberry.com/

Karyn Yandow (Photography) 3rd Floor
http://www.karynyandow.com/

Kim Frohsin (Mixed Media)
http://www.kimfrohsin.com/

Marti McKee (Printmaking) #316
http://www.martimckee.com/

Michael Rios (Mixed Media)
Behind Noonan Building
http://www.mvrios.com/

Pamela Axelson (Drawing) #319
http://www.pamelaaxelson.com/

Phillip Hua (Mixed Media) #305
http://www.philliphua.com/

Suzy Barnard (Painting) #304
http://www.suzybarnard.com/

Xavier Viramontes (Printmaking) #316
http://www.mesart.com/xviramontes/

Potrero Hill
820 Rhode Island Street at 20th Street

Doug Sebesta (Photography)
http://dougsebesta.carbonmade.com/

Ruben Joy (Mixed Media)
http://artspan.org/artist/rubjoystudios

Ghost Ship to Dock in Dogpatch for Halloween

Ghost Ship Halloween Sneak Peek Trick or Treat
Saturday, October 26th, Noon to 5pm
Pier 70. Building 12
420 22nd st @ illinois
RSVP at Facebook

A local group called Ghost Ship Halloween has moved their yearly Halloween dance party event to Pier 70, and this year they will be holding an all-ages daytime event immediately prior.

Ghost Ship Halloween says:

GHOST SHIP HALLOWEEN 2013 is proud to unveil our first ever SNEAK PEAK[sic] TRICK OR TREAT

Kids, parents, neighbors, friends!
Join us for an afternoon of all-ages Halloween fun.
Get a sneak peak[sic] of the amazing art of Ghost Ship.

  • HAY MAZE
  • SFFD FIRE ENGINE
  • CARNIVAL GAMES
  • PUMPKIN PAINTING
  • SILENT DISCO
  • SWEET TREATS
  • FOOD TRUCKS

The SF Fire Department will have an engine on hand for viewing and will be available to answer questions from kids.

FREE – ALL AGES – PARENTS & KIDS ENCOURAGED

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 26
PIER 70 . BUILDING 12
Noon-5PM / 420 22nd st @ illinois
info: http://ghostshiphalloween.com/sneakpeek

But, the kids aren’t going to hog all the fun, there’s an event for grownups as well.

Ghost Ship Halloween says:

Hold your breath and get ready for a plunge into the Abyss at Ghost Ship Halloween 2013. The city’s most beloved Halloween event is back for a sixth year at an iconic new location, the gigantic Building 12 at Pier 70 in the Dogpatch, San Francisco. For the past five years Ghost Ship Halloween has dropped jaws and thrilled thousands with unparalleled original art installations schemed and built from scratch from recyclable materials and enjoyed for one night only. With past events boasting a Victorian era Ghost Ship, an armada ready steam liner, a high flying Viking ship and an alien space craft hovering over a zombie ghost town, the “Make Big Art” team of artists are hard at work creating a wavy wonderland under the sea. Along with their megalomaniacal schemes, Ghost Ship will again feature original installations by the leaders of the Bay Area’s dynamic large scale production art community, and the world’s most exciting art cars. The soundscape of Ghost Ship will be electrified by multiple stages hosted by top DJ crews and dozens of their finest DJs, all of whom are Bay Area locals. The attendees of Ghost Ship provide the final touch of artwork with original costume culture that raises the bar on pageantry.

21+ ONLY
MUST HAVE PRINT @HOME or HARD TICKET IN HAND
MUST HAVE GOVERNMENT ISSUED ID

Tickets appear to be $50, so make your choices accordingly.

Notice of this event came from the nice folks at Pier 70, who said in an email:

Enjoy historic Building 12 at Pier 70 on Saturday, October 26th, with a daytime, family-friendly Halloween festival and a nighttime art and music festival. Ghost Ship Halloween, produced by Space Cowboys and Sunset SF, has thrilled thousands with unparalleled art installations schemed and built from scratch. This year, they plan to open their doors in the afternoon for a family-friendly sneak peek with special tricks & treats for costumed kids. At night, the building will transform into a wavy wonderland under the sea, featuring original installations by the leaders of the Bay Area’s dynamic large scale production art community, the world’s most exciting art cars, and multiple soundstages hosted by top local DJ crews.

This event and the recent Urban Air Market are part of their plan to “activate” the pier. So far, so good.

Long Bridge Pizza Slated For American Industrial Center

Long Bridge Pizza

A little while ago, Andrew from Haighteration sent over an email:

I just came across a registration for something called Long Bridge Pizza at 2347 3rd Street. It’s dated July 1st, so I’m not sure if it’s news or not, but wanted to pass it your way!

If you weren’t aware, when Oralia’s folded its lunch business into Gilberth’s Rotisserie, the vacant space was quickly snapped up with the intent of opening a pizza-by-the-slice shop.

It looks like that’s moving along, as the proprietors have set up a domain. At the moment their menu looks a little heavy on the “Mediterranean Pizza with Goat Cheese” options, but any site with this much lorem ipsum text is obviously incomplete.
http://longbridgepizza.com/

Unfortunately their email address does not appear to work and I am terrified of phoning pizza places, so they were unavailable for comment.